February is a month of transitions. It is nearing the end of winter and yet it can still pack a punch. We have had barely any snow this winter. February caught us up in a big way. This will soon melt in the next few days. I have enjoyed this bit of winter, as I have also enjoyed not having to shovel so much!
My squirrels are firmly embedded in the bird houses now. This is a refuge from any storms as they do not get any rain or snow where they are perched. They often sit upon the roof of the bird house to torment our dogs. Kaylee in particular gets into the garden and tries to climb the wall to get at them. Sometimes there is only one in this house; however, we have witnessed three of them coming out one day! Tight quarters, but I guess they were warm this way. They drink from the barrel pond which has been doing well with its water heater. So far my water lily lives! It has been an interesting winter watching as many varieties of birds and animals come to get a drink.
This month also means the fruition of planning our Forest City Toastmasters Contest. At first this was very overwhelming for me. I had asked for and received a lot of help along the way. What an opportunity and a massive learning process for me. I am down to the finishing touches. Last evening at our meeting even the newest members offered to help by being greeters at the doors. This was a relief as it freed up members who had roles in this contest. I was very grateful for this and it was a pleasure to see them step up and become a part of our team! I know now that I will be able to help someone else as they take on a challenge such as this. This is what I love about our group. We all help each other; as well we challenge each other. The humour is what I enjoy the most. I have more laughs each week. This and friendships keep me coming back for more.
On a serious note I, along with many other friends and family have been trying to help out a dear friend whose son was murdered in January. I know that I was shocked! To lose a child can be overwhelming. To lose one in this manner is even more tragic. Not only can you not say goodbye, but knowing someone was angry enough to take his life is inconceivable. To not see them again, or feel that you hear their footsteps coming up the walkway is a daily challenge. A two-year-old girl asks where her Daddy is and why is he not coming to see her. There is a look of concern on her face as she tries to understand the grown ups so sad around her.
My friend is a spiritual person and a healer who is letting others help her in this process. She is grateful for her own daughter and Granddaughter and knows how precious life can be. There is an ache in her heart and a hole in her life. The greatest gift we can give to another is to LISTEN. Allow them the time they need to grieve. There is no time limit on this process. There are no shoulds! e.g. "I should be starting to feel better by now."
Sometimes it is important to get professional help to work through your process. There are groups out there that are specifically there for your situation. You don’t have to do it on your own. Call on your community and TELL THEM WHAT YOU NEED! It can be as simple as someone vacuuming your home for you.
You can bring a meal or just have some tea & goodies with them. Let them know that they are not alone. You can go shopping for them. Sometimes financial aid in a Go Fund Me account can help as well. Not everyone has health care plans which support time off for these situations. They know that it may be difficult for you to talk with them initially. It is a tough subject and there is always the question of WHY? Again don’t get into the whys, just LISTEN as they process their thoughts. Indeed, this can be one of our greatest gifts to them and to let them know that they are not alone.
Please, if you are in a similar situation of grief in your life for whatever reason, look at what I have said and reach out. No one knows what you need more than you do. Down the road there will come a time when this will not hurt so much. It will not be so ‘in your face’ kind of pain. The missing that person will continue throughout your life, especially for anniversaries like birthdays and Christmas. It will become manageable. They will be held in a part of your heart forever.
Blessings!