This has been an incredibly difficult week. My dear friend Janet passed away on Wednesday, May 1st and her funeral was on Saturday.

I have known Janet since 1980 when I desperately needed someone to care for my two children. Jay was 4 going on 5 in November and Lindsay was 4 months old.  In those days I only had 6 months leave for pregnancy. I planned early so that I could enjoy the last couple of months together.

On the day that Janet was coming for her interview, I drove down my usual street to go to my doctor. A red-headed woman was pushing a stroller with a toddler. I almost stopped to see if her name was Janet. I thought that it might not be the best idea. I did think to myself, “I bet Janet is a redhead” (auburn). When she came to the door there she was! I was not surprised.

Sometimes over my lifetime. I have had these moments of pure clarity which always turns out to be a great thing. Indeed, she was one of those great things. I felt like I had known her forever.

At our initial interview my daughter in front of both of us, began to crawl backwards across my whole living room. Janet and I just looked at each other and groaned.

Janet was a nanny from Britain and came from an area near where my Mom had been born. Because she had a young son, Jacob, she asked if she could bring him with her. I totally agreed to everything.

The friendship was forged that day and lasted for almost 44 years. As an R.N. I needed a reliable person to be at my side and this she was. Jacob became my second son and loved trailing after Lindsay as she navigated stairs at 6 months, and walking at 10 months. Lindsay called Jacob “Cubby” as she could not figure out how to say Jacob. This name stuck for years.

 

I had someone who cleaned my house, rather badly. Janet asked to take this on as well as doing the Laundry. I felt blessed, as I knew she was meticulous. It was a win-win for both of us.

Janet stayed with us for 3 years until Lindsay went to daycare as Jacob would be starting Kindergarten. We would often visit each other at both our homes. In fact, Janet and Mike hosted my 39th birthday party at their place. I was totally amazed, that no one gave it away.  My Ex figured my 40th would be too obvious. We moved to Ajax when we bought our first home. A few years later Janet and Mike would follow us there.

Mike was into woodworking and refinished a lot of my antique furniture and made some picture frames for my children’s baby pictures as well as a toy box I have to this day.

We continued to see each other periodically. We never truly got out of touch, even when we moved to Port Stanley and then London. I would often visit them in Ajax when I would come to see other dear friends  I had worked with in Psychiatry at the then-Oshawa General Hospital.

Janet would begin her new career in charge of care at the Children’s Village in Scarborough where she and her staff would work with special needs children. She stayed there for 35 years until she retired, as did Mike. They sold their Ajax home and moved to Chatham where the prices for homes were much lower.  Their new home was gorgeous and as a bonus, they had wonderful neighbours. With financial freedoms came lots of travelling for them, including going back to England.

At the tail end of Covid Janet had to have surgery to remove cancer. There was a slight delay as Mike did get COVID-19 at that time. Her surgery was followed shortly after with chemo and radiation.

Some of these procedures and her oncologist were in London so we got to see both of them at our place in Autumn. Janet loved our gardens and as it was so warm we got to sit outside and enjoy the birds and gardens.

Just after Christmas Janet called to say she had had a seizure and the cancer was back, only in her brain this time. No further treatment would be happening. Jim and I went to visit them in March in Chatham. Lots of catching up and lots of laughs re old times. I gave Janet a picture of our kids when they were little. It was a candid one so caught their essence beautifully. She adored it. Their daughter Jannine was not born yet for that picture.

I did not know that this would be our last time together.

Mike called us on May 1st to say that Janet was gone. She again had seizures and her tumours had doubled. The weekend before her death she sat out on her porch with neighbours and enjoyed watching “The Last of the Mohicans” with her husband. She adored her gardens and her friends in Chatham. It was a wonderful move for them. Her neighbours had been helping Mike out as much as they could with meals, rides etc.

On Saturday Jim and I attended Janet’s funeral. I got to meet her amazing neighbours and see Jacob and his family again. My dear friend Mike needed lots of love from all of us as he had been married for over 45 years.

I got to meet Janine and all the Grands. Even though life got in the way of seeing each other more often we still had much respect and love for each other. Janet was a true friend, which is so rare to have. I know that I treasured her and always will. She was such a part of my life and I would have been lost without her.

Seeing Jacob again felt like no time in between and yet it was over 40 years. Our brief connection continues to this day. He thought I looked the same and called me Aunt Sue.

When you make a connection such as this to a whole family it is a gift that goes beyond the here and now. Through my Reiki, I know that Janet is happy and at peace. Her pain is gone and she is revelling in her freedom. Both Jacob and I felt some peace around us when thinking of her.

I will never forget the day I first saw Janet pushing Jacob in his stroller. Her beautiful auburn hair dazzled in the sunlight.  I am sure she is dazzling heaven’s children right now. She was always caring about them and all of us.

We were blessed to have known you, Janet.

From my heart to yours. THANK YOU!

Sue

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